Facebook, Marriages and Political Correctness.

There's an emergent branch of social behaviour which I summarize as - How to Behave on Facebook when you're Married. Being in a state that is not even in the same galaxy as 'married', these are merely my observations. 

Some Basics 

'Like' every status update of your spouse. It's apparently a reaffirmation of the relationship. The one you just cemented by MARRYING them. But still, why take chances. Since it's quite unlikely you live in the same house, it's perfectly understandable that they might not know you like what they said. Just to make it doubly sure you could comment on it too. 

'Like' every picture posted by your spouse. Especially if it's of a meal lovingly cooked or a present thoughtfully bought by her/him. Extra points if you're the one posting the pic and then thanking your better half publicly by tagging them. Because what good is a thank you when not subject to the admiration of everyone on your friend list. 

Be proficient at judging the other person's mood by carefully monitoring their facebook updates. If they posted a ':(' on their wall or an update about their day, which you missed out because you couldn't be bothered to check were working - be warned!  "But it was on my FaceBook", has been recently inducted into the 'Glossary of Valid Arguments' by the Worldwide Associate of Marriage Counselors. 

The icing

On anniversaries and more importantly birthdays you have to wish your spouse by updating your own status and mentioning her/him in it. You can post on their wall in addition, but only posting on their wall just won't do. It's sort of like when tabloids and gossip magazines publish birthday wishes for celebrities and then give their readers the option of wishing them too in their comment section. 

The cherry

This, pardon my bakery analogies, really takes the cake. Extra brownie points all round and pretty high returns when you invest a little bit of time 'liking' and dropping in a few comments on the posts/photos/activities of the extended family.   A quick guide:

Siblings & Parents - Always 'like'. Frequently comment. Tag them in a post or two and you're golden. 

Cousins - 'Like', without fail. Invite them to visit you at every chance you get. Even if it's while commenting on their picture of a manhole cover they found particularly interesting. 

Aunts & Uncles - 'Like' most of the time. Always wish them on anniversaries and birthdays. Throw in an occasional comment on how they are getting younger by the day. 

I dare say someday I might be guilty of some or all the above. When that happens,  Orwellian-like, I will come back and delete this post.