Ok I've had enough of being called a walking disaster, clumsy, having two left feet, disaster prone, accident prone, everythingbad prone but sadly enough, it is true. I hate admitting this and whenever something happens that justifies these names I always think that it will be the last time, how I'll prove everyone wrong and then laugh in their faces when they expect me to break something and I don't. It really doesn't happen that way.
I don't only break things; I lose them, leave them in places they should never have been in the first place or emit some strange energy that makes them act quite extraordinarily. I could have sold my life story to the X-Files screenwriters. Damn. Too late.
I have driven my mother insane by ruining all her nice china!That's the least of my sins actually, my worst would have to be when my passport mysteriously disappeared when I was studying in Canada. Actually no that could compete with the time I spilled beer on my brand new amazingly hi-tech and amazingly expensive laptop and effectively killed it.
Then there was this one time when I could do nothing but laugh at my own stupidity. I went to take my luggage out of the car from the trunk. So I took the keys, opened the trunk, took the keys out put them in the trunk, took my suitcase out and promptly shut the trunk with the keys in it!!! Well the rest can be left to imagination only that the spare set had to be sent from 80km away in another car.
My repertoire does include missing flights, losing books, breaking all forms of utensils, crushing my glasses to bits, washing contact lenses and goldfish down the sink drains, spewing a mouthful of water over my manager and the like.
I guess there is no hope. I give up. I will have to buy plastic utensils my whole life and stay very far from most electrical equipment.
